“Yuss, Zach. I’m really keen to check out the personal profiles that mom got emailed today!” I said with a bit more enthusiasm than usual whilst looking in my rear view mirror to see his reaction. We where on our way to Rosebank Mall to meet up with Devon Reynolds, and a friend from school. It’s now 5 days away from leaving for Quest, and the butterflies where slowly building up. Seeing Devon for the first time in months was good, and I knew that we all had a lot to catch up on. All three of us having girlfriends, I knew that conversation would not be short.
After a great lunch and a beer, the topic then changed onto Quest. “Ah! Dev, did you get that email of all the Quest profiles on your Blackberry? Lets have a look at them bro.” Zach said, leaning closer towards him as Dev flung his Blackberry out of his pocket. “Ok, lets see who we have here. Ok, well first up we have Benjamin Marffy. Went to St Johns in Johannesburg. Interesting… Enjoys hunting, fishing, game capture. Spending all his time in the Bush.” As we read more and more profiles, I slowly got this feeling that I was much more of a townie than I thought. Just about every profile that I read had written something about their love for either: Hunting, fishing or the great out doors. I was a little bit intimidated to say the least. After finding out that I was just about the most “naff’ guy on Quest (according to my Profile) saying ‘ I enjoy reading, chilling with mates, and painting”, when everyone else is saying how they enjoy killing buffalo and lion at point blank range and flying Falcons and dragons, I felt a little uneasy.
Perhaps that mind set wasn’t the right one to start off my program at Quest, but that incident serves for an amazing comparison of how far I’ve come. How much I’ve changed from that Townie Joburg boy, to this Bush loving Quest man.
My “Thesis” of my learning in Quest will summarize and share my learning’s and growth that has been catalyzed by this course. Most of the lessons learnt on Quest will not be forgotten, but by writing all these down, I have something that will serve me well for the rest of my life. Look back on this time, these young exciting years where it all started out and keep reminding myself who I am, and who I’ve become.
Now I’m not going to start this “thesis” with a cheesy metaphor or comparison of my growth as a person to a butterfly or a moth, but what I will do is my best to describe the growth that I have experienced over the last 6 months or so, and relate all of those learning’s to certain events that have brought upon that change.
I have been on Quest Africa now for about 6 months, starting on shaky ground on the 7th of February, I was excited, a sparkle in my eye at the new challenge, and experience. After the first day at Quest I found that it certainly was not the boot camp that I thought it out to be. It’s not just a gap year course that teaches you all the required acumen. I think that Quest is more a 6-month trial run at life. Sharing the challenges both physically, and mentally that we will one day experience in the big wide world.
I then asked myself the Question. How has Quest changed me? How have I grown, Where have I grown, and where is the evidence. Not only where I’ve changed but also why? What made me change for the better? That’s what I'm looking for, the one key ‘ ingredient that has been used to bring upon this “change’ of mine.
Now the answer lies within myself. Were not just looking at the huge physical change that occurred during my time here. But the life lessons that I've gotten stuck in my mind. The lessons that have been tried and tested and deemed “worthy to be remembered”. I have changed, there's no doubt about it, and I’ve grown. I have become more responsible, matured more. My mindset on how to approach problems and situations has done a complete 360°.What was broken before is now fixable. My understanding of different people and characters has taken on a new level, and my ability to get on with others that I normally would have forgotten. The Question is “How has Quest changed me” and the answer is “into a better a man”.
Now a prime example of how my mind set has changed towards problems sits in a simple example. Whilst trying to fix my bike, I found that I didn’t have a bicycle pump to pump up my recently repaired tyre. Now weeks earlier I found that I had somehow come across two bicycle pumps within my reach. One was Joshua Mallon’s, and the other was mine that I found to be “broken”. –Back to the present- I find my pump in the back room and just test out the pump to see if it really is broken. Upon seeing that the pump just wasn’t letting air into my tyre, I check it and find that the rear fitting on the pump was unscrewed and thus disallowing the build up in pressure. Upon screwing the rear on, I try the pump again and find it to work- like a dream. Now I couldn’t help to wonder in that instance that if I didn’t go to Quest, would I have just chucked the pump away and asked my parents to buy me a brand new one? Now when I see a problem, I “make a plan” in the words of Mr. Schultz. I make do with what I have and think laterally to fix something that seems broken.
Now this mind set doesn’t just work specifically for the technical acumen or building activities. When Devon and Myself where put in charge of the Fun Day activities planning, we had to make a plan where there was no signal to phone or email people. We had to phone a number of different people a number of times in order to get things organized. I'm no longer scared of phoning a shop or store and asking for an order, as I was when I was in Johannesburg. I’m no longer a school kid; I’m a student, a young man.
The Anecdote that highlights the general mindset that Quest has invested in me would be; Instead of e-mailing my parents and asking them for a new pair of running shoes, I send them an e-mail asking for glue to fix them.
The one thing that has shone through the stormy weather and has been with me every step of the experience in Quest is something that I have referred to a number of times at Quest, whether it's been in my journal or the blogs.
If, by Rudyard Kipling.
If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build em’ up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And loose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after you are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count on you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute with
Sixty seconds worth of distance run;
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And-which is more- you’ll be a man my Son!
I believe that every student on Quest should carry this with them as their manual for life. An unparalleled guide to morals, and values and how a man should conduct himself and how he should treat others. In High school, I had the poem printed on my wall, and I tried my best to read it every day. Now at Quest, I have no wall to hang it up, but what I do have is a poem that will always stay in my heart. I know the poem better now than I ever did at school because I live the poem every day on Quest.
My personal model that has been developed over the last 7 months has been integrated and based on the poem by Rudyard Kipling. The poem rather refers to the type of person that you should strive to become. Not
Leadership
I have learnt more than I ever have in terms of leadership. At St Albans you had instant respect from your peers because of your age or status. Here at Quest, you have guys of ages ranging from 18 to 21 and everyone here has to earn the right to be respected, or has to earn the right not to be respected. Having such a diverse group here, not just all the city slicker kids that you get from Joburg and Pretoria. But here we have guys from all different background; guys from farming backgrounds, city backgrounds, guys from all over the world with different cultures, and belief systems. So to understand and accommodate for all those different factors as well as to lead at times when guys need to be lead is a huge learning experience in is own right.
Sometimes you need to lead and sometimes you need to follow. This lesson is a tool that everyone should know when to use, and when to pack away, and I believe that I have found the judgment and insight on when to lead and when to be lead, which is an invaluable lesson in life. One Quote that I have learnt to love is “Sometimes a leader needs to lead from the back”. This quote, I believe, is my type of leadership style. I like to lead from the pack, from the heart of the group. Not from the front, alone.
Participating and at times leading my Iron will team and Quest Project has challenged and stimulated me tremendously. In Iron will we where faced with many challenges and tough-and-trying times through out the race. Times where you think that you wont make it, or drop your head when you think all hope is lost. When you have to push beyond your own boundaries because you realize that you are part of a team that is relying on you. That is when leadership is evoked and compelled out of a person. In my Iron will group I was fortunate enough to have two very strong leaders (James Howes and Devon Reynolds) in my team; each knowing when to lead and when to be lead, and each adding their own leadership recipe to the pot.
All in all, my leadership abilities over the course have evolved and developed far beyond what could have imagined. These tools that I have armed myself with is an invaluable asset that I will use for the rest of my life. They say that nothing beats experience, and Quest has given me exactly that.
Attitude
At Quest, your attitude is the steering wheel of your success. It makes the right turns so that you don’t get lost, and makes sure that you’re driving on the right side of the road. Your attitude determines how hard you work, or how well you complete the day’s work, or fitness. If your attitude is bad, then it affects everything you do.
When we had the obstacle course to do as one of our major fitness sessions, our last activity was to swim across the dam in the middle of winter, and the one guy on the course, (Professor) cant swim, so we had to help him swim across the dam. Being one of the strongest swimmers, I had to help him swim across with another 4 guys; Josh, Gaskell, Zach and Ian. In Professor’s case, he could have had the wrong attitude, and said that he didn’t want to swim across. No matter what he saw the event as a challenge, and even though he was petrified, he decided to trust us and swim across. He had the right attitude, and that was key to his success. It's the same in life.
From all the lecturers and facilitators that we have had over this course, every single one has commented that you need to have the right attitude in order to succeed. According to my personal life model, attitude is the one aspect of my life that influences all the others. If I have a negative attitude towards tasks, work or any relationship that I have, whether it be with my family or friends or if I have a negative attitude, then nothing will be done to the best of my ability.
The one quote or saying that I live by the most, and which has gotten me through a lot of potentially negative attitudes is “It Just Is.” That saying has put me through so many situations and corrected my attitude more than I can count, and it is all about seeing the best in a situation. “It just is” is the magic formula for having a positive attitude. When you have a situation where it can potentially be negative, like when we have a series of Signal Hill sprints to do, and on the last one, guys aren’t going fast enough, so we have to do a couple of extra sprints. Instead of getting a bad attitude, getting angry and annoyed, you say to yourself “it just is” there is nothing that I can do to change this situation that I’m in, so just accept the position that you are in. There is no use in being angry or upset about it, because it is not going to make it easier. Just be happy, make the best of the situation, and have a positive attitude.
Morals
A man is pre programmed and taught a certain class of information that sets him up for the future, and sets him apart from the rest. This guide that he has, will stay with him his whole life. Help him through the good and the bad, through times when the answer isn’t as obvious as it should be. The morals and values that I have today are all thanks to my upbringing.
From the day that I was born, I started learning and getting influenced by my parents, and my friends. They say that you are as good as the people whom you surround yourself with. The morals and values that I have learnt, the 6th sense that I have when seeing a situation that doesn’t sit right with me, and my ability to make very good judgment on what’s right and what’s wrong, even when there is a very thin line between the two, is something that is all thanks to my parents. The quotes that I use when I am faced with a dilemma is all programmed into me, but the morals that I have are based on the following principals:
Be honest, Don’t take anything for granted, be who your parents raised you to be, Be fair, have respect and you will earn respect.
The morals that I would ideally want to have would be to abide by the poem “If”. Not to talk behind anyone’s back, being humble, but at the same time to stick up for that which you believe in.
Perseverance
Perseverance is a short lesson that I have included but reigns true with a lot of the exercises that we have had to do. When we are faced with a fitness session, whether it is a cycle or a run, you have to have perseverance to complete it and do it to the best of your ability. In about the 4th week of term 1 we had an eco-challenge where everything that could go wrong went wrong. We got lost, we had punctures, and my one teammate had his pedal forcefully removed from his bike by a rock. We had to take turns pushing his bike up and down the hills, like a little 5 year old on one of those cheap push bikes.
At the end of the day, we finished and came in last by a long shot, but in the end, we ended up coming in first place because we had the drive to finish the event with all the necessary way points and pictures in hand that the other groups just decided to ignore because it was too much effort and it was getting late. Perseverance is the reason why we got there, why we finished, why we won, that combined with all of the above; leadership, morals, and attitude.
Teamwork
Teamwork is something that I didn’t really appreciate until I came to Quest. When I was at school it was something that you said in a rugby match because it sounded right. When you where at rugby practice, or water polo practice you heard the word being thrown around for affect, but did you ever really fully understand it?
When you’re at school, you have to have teamwork in order to play a great rugby match or polo game, but the only thing at stake is a bruised ego and a couple of points on a score board. Teamwork in the context of Quest is a completely different facet of the word. It's not your ego that’s at stake, but time, energy, pain, and above all, disappointment from your friends.
Whether it's in your daily fitness routine, or getting to class on time, it is all a part of teamwork. The way that I see it is that all 24 of us on Quest are part of one big team. When one guy stuffs up then we all pay the consequences. If a security duty doesn’t tidy up the admin area or wash the cars, then the bar is closed for a couple of days. It's all about teamwork.
Now, so far into the course, we have gotten the hang of being a team. When we go to Harare, or Bulawayo, we go as a team, as a group of friends. In life, we are actually always involved and learning about teamwork. When you have a family, you're in a team, one day when you own a business or start working for the first time, you are going to be involved, some way or another in a team.
The first thing that you have to have for good team work is a common goal, whether it be to finish an obstacle course in the least time or finish the Saturday bike ride before the Falcon first team rugby starts playing. A common goal is the glue that puts the team together. In order for that team to perform at it's best you need to keep the cliché “the team is only as strong as it's weakest link” in mind but you need to help that person more than the others to do well for your team. You need to have constructive criticism and encouragement for all the people in your group who are struggling. Besides from having a collective vision, you need to make sure that everyone feels like they belong. If you have everyone in your group feeling motivated, inspired and feeling like a true piece of the puzzle then that end goal, that vision that you have will start becoming more and more of a reality.
To try to sum up everything that I've learnt on Quest is something that I have struggled to do. I know that I haven’t included everything, but what I have included is everything that has influenced me the most. Quest has been a life changing experience.
It's offered me so many different experiences and perspectives, and has given me a huge number of amazing memories that I will never forget. The people, the place, the course has been everything I wanted and more. Sure, it still has its kinks that it needs to work out, but the same applies to any young company. If I was to put to paper 5 key learning’s that have helped me the most on Quest and in the future that extend beyond the categories that I have mentioned above, it would be the following 5 learning’s:
It just is
Do what you do well
Be honest
A man is what he believes in
Integrity out runs everything.
Quest above all has taught me that there is a lesson in everything. Even the simplest of tasks like making a fire for a hot shower or doing Land Rover mechanics. It's all part of the process for preparing me for what is after this, Tsinghua, UCT, and beyond that, LIFE!